Paul's Internet Landfill/ 2020/ Fake Mayonnaise

Fake Mayonnaise

One of the many bad habits I have developed since this pandemic is eating mayonnaise. This started in March, when the Farmer's Market was closed and my greens were restricted to cabbage and a few Asian greens from New City Supermarket. I was eating cabbage every day, and decided that I wanted coleslaw. So I bought a jar of mayonnaise and kicked off my downward spiral.

I am eating too much mayonnaise. I eat it as a salad dressing and with tofu and on bread. A few months before the pandemic I managed to cut my consumption of vegetable oil down so I could cut calories, and I have completely undone that. But that is not the worst thing. The worst thing is that I have developed a strong preference for the good stuff -- full-fat extra caloriffic "regular" mayo.

To save money I have (and will continue to) get the Miracle-Whip-styled "whipped dressing". I have tried several varieties of store-brand "Lite" mayo, and they are not the same. I like the tang and the fatty mouthfeel of real mayo. I have not bought the brand-name vegan mayo (and I think it is out of my budget, as if mayonnaise itself was not) but I am guessing it is not much better. I do not understand why real mayonnaise tastes and feels so different from the substitutes.

This sucks. Eating mayonnaise or any other creamy dressing sucks. Eating products made with eggs sucks. Eating such high-calorie food sucks. But it sucks more that I have developed a preference for the most expensive, most fattening stuff.