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My Homophobic Peers
Ten years ago, I would never have imagined that I would be friends with people who smoked, who drank, who were working class or on welfare. But that is what has happened. For the most part, I am grateful. Meeting them has broadened my perceptions in many important and uncomfortable ways. When my intellectual-class peers sneer at welfare bums or rant about how the state should rescue the poor oppressed people, I just shake my head and wonder why educated people love to parrot opinions about things they have never experienced and know nothing about. And when my lower-class friends insist on buying lottery tickets and cigarettes instead of conserving their money, I just want to cry.
One consequence of having working-class acquaintences is that several of them have not been brainwashed into the liberal intelligentsia doctorine that being gay is okay. One of my co-volunteers is a born- again Christian who (on the basis of our pal Leviticus) firmly believes that homosexuality is a sin. Another co-volunteer once said he would kick his own son out of his house if his son proved to be gay. A third enjoys cracking all kinds of jokes involving homosexual anal sex, and feels comfortable doing so in my presence. Maybe we are not the closest of friends, but we know each other and trust each other.
Great! This is my big chance to spread the brainwashing and clear up some bad perceptions about homosexuality! By coming out to them I will set a good example (hah!) that will shatter the stereotypes!
Yeah. I guess.
In the best case, they'll censor themselves in my presence so that they won't offend me. When we inadvertantly brush against each other or make other physical contact (which tends to happen in our cramped repair shop) then they'll wonder whether I am making a pass at them. I will lose their honesty and their trust, which are two of the things I value most about interclass relations. It would be a small price to pay. Other gay folks have sacrificed much more -- jobs, families, their lives -- so that I can live as a gay person without fearing for my life.
Still, I'm scared. It is not something I look forward to.
Livejournal URL: http://lonelyache.livejournal.com/2225.html
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