Paul's Internet Landfill/ demons/ Clueless Paul Gets a Career

Clueless Paul Gets a Career

Despite the fact that I am keeping lots of career options open, I have no clue as to what I should do with my life. I have vague ideas, of course, and some unsatisfying career possibilities, but I don't know what I want.

This is a bad thing, in case you were wondering. I am old enough now to know that it's high time I should make some choices about the type of employment I would like to pursue for a good chunk of my life, but I am not old enough to actually want anything. Just call me immature and clueless, because that is exactly what I am.

Job Ideals

"So what does Paul want out of a job?" I hear you not asking. Well, a partial list of my job ideals might help clarify that issue:

There. Now that I have created an impossible situation for myself, let's at some of the options I am considering:

  1. Clueless Paul Gets a Career
    1. Job Ideals
    2. University Professor
    3. Network Guy
    4. Web Page Designer
    5. Cadaver
    6. Homeless Bum
    7. Teacher
    8. Dartboard
    9. Writer
    10. Programmer/Systems Analyst
    11. Conclusion
  2. Sidebar!

I have also thought of, but not written about, the following:

University Professor

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

People always seem to see me as professor material, perhaps because I have zero chance of surviving life in the real world. Also, I wear taped up glasses, dress funny and can't teach very well, which can't help but strengthen the stereotype. It is true that part of me is interested in living the university experience, but if I was to become a prof I would have to feel that I am accomplishing something in this world. That would be difficult, to say the least. Besides, I doubt that I have what it takes to become a professor anyways -- I can't even handle my undergraduate studies.

Network Guy

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

Perhaps this is a possibility for me, but I doubt it. I have done network administration-type work in the past, and I often find it relaxing. That is one of the big problems; I want to keep myself challenged at work, especially if school is not around to exercise my brain.

Web Page Designer

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

No. No no no no no. This is one career that really does not appeal to me too much. Perhaps I could design web pages for myself if I really tried hard, but designing pages to suit other people's agendas? That's not too likely, unless I happened to really believe in the agenda in question.

Cadaver

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

This career has real potential. I think that I am definitely looking at cadaverdom at some point in my life -- the only question is whether I pursue other career options first.

Homeless Bum

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

People laugh when they talk about becoming a homeless bum. But I could easily see myself in such a situation. Many of the people who live on the streets are unable to cope with so-called "normal" life. That describes me to a T, especially when you consider that many of the homeless suffer from mental conditions. It's not too much of a stretch to think that I would fit right in, especially if I gave up hope.

Teacher

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

A teacher? Maybe. I don't see this option as being very likely, though. I don't handle other people -- especially young people -- responsibily enough to be entrusted with their care. Why else do you think I will never have children myself?

Maybe teaching high school students would be more of a possibility. But I probably deal with teenagers even worse than small kids, because teens have this innate need to mock people who don't fit into their neat little categories. I remember this well, having been mocked mercilessly throughout my highschool years.

Dartboard

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

In some ways maybe it is a shame, but there doesn't seem to be too much demand for animate dartboards anymore. I doubt that this is a viable career option for me -- there are just too many negatives to the jobs. I really don't see the point of getting myself in such a situation.

Writer

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

Ah yes. This is everybody's secret career, don't you think? Everybody wants to be a writer, except for the people who want to direct movies. And I suppose everybody has a chance to be a writer, but very few of us have the discipline, drive and skill to make writing as a career work for us.

I took a writing course last year, in which I was to write pages and pages of deathless prose, and prove to the world that I really had what it takes to be a real live writer. By the end of that course, all I managed to do was disappoint everybody. I didn't write enough. I didn't write well enough. I did not have the discipline or drive to make writing a realistic career choice. So I'll continue to secretly dream my secret dreams (Shhh. Don't tell anybody) and I'll continue not writing.

Programmer/Systems Analyst

The Positives

The Negatives

Aimless Comments

I suppose that this career was the reason I took Computer Science at university in the first place. The only problem is that I really don't seem to enjoy programming all that much. I like the problem solving aspect of programming, but the implementation often bores me. That isn't good. Also, I cannot take the stress, so some part of me doubts that I will be able to hold down any type of programming job, although another part of me thinks (fears?) that I will end up doing this for a living.

Conclusion

The verdict? What else? I'm never going to find a career, because I am a lazy stupid person who doesn't want to work for a living and wouldn't be able to get the work done even if he wanted to. To be sure, there isn't much hope for me, I suppose.